DKC Atlas Forum

[Phyreburnz]

... Team up and make one giant, super-bee. Good job. They chase you all around Crocodile Isle and Donkey Kong Island until you can't run anymore. You decide to hide for a little bit in DK's tree house. While you're hiding, you make cookies and tea. The angry, giant, super-bee comes a' knockin' at the door. You invite them in and have tea and cookies. How lovely. After tea, the chase resumes, and you run around some more. The only way to defeat the super bee is to...

[HavocReaper48]

...Hide in the beehive! How ironic, the super bee is so large it cannot enter its own home. Oh well. Chill out in the hive, which should be empty still, until the bee gets bored and leaves. After, you realize that you smell like Zinger honey! Wash yourself in Vine Valley's Clam City. While there however you are ambushed by the Oranga-Tang Gang! Fight off a horde of Manky Kongs and walk off into the beautiful sunset together. How romantic of Diddy and Dixie.

Later, resume your search. Perhaps Chunky Kong would know where Donkey Kong is? Go find Chunky Kong, only to find him feeling pretty depressed. He's upset because he just feels like the fatter cousin of Donkey Kong with a vest and hasn't appeared anywhere since Donkey Kong 64. Cheer him up by...

[Phyreburnz]

... telling him that he's a useless nothing and will probably never be in another Donkey Kong game again. Oh, wait, you said cheering him up... Well, now that you've pissed him off, you need to run away. Ironically, whenever Chunky is mad, he doesn't need crystal coconuts or Chunky Barrels to get big... and needless to say, he's big and angry and chasing you. Wow, you're getting your excercise today! Run around the island, screaming. Do this for an hour or two and then...

[HavocReaper48]

...climb a tall tree. Chunky that large can not climb a tree, of course. However, he CAN knock it down~ which leaves him tired. Get as far away as possible. In fact, go to the Northern Kremishere. You've had a long day. Chill out by the boardwalks there. The weather's nice there this time of year. After a while, resume your search for DK by...

[Phyreburnz]

... making a pot of spaghetti. You ask the nearest Kremling how to unlock DK, in return, you offer him the spaghetties. Kremlings, however, do not partake of spaghetties and he just laughs in your face. You're hurt now... you begin to cry and run home! Now the Kremling realizes how badly he made you feel; he sends you flowers, chocolates, and an "I'm Sorry" card. This makes you feel...

[HavocReaper48]

...like you've done a job well done, the Kremling has so much pity that he tells you a Kremling outpost somewhere in the Crocodile Isle has Donkey Kong held hostage. You ask him where it could possibly be, as you've been to Crocodile Isle fifty times and back now, and he says you need to enter a hidden Mine level exit to the outpost. Oh, well, that explains the "Do not go this way" sign there. He leads you there and...

[Phyreburnz]

... there's a giant boulder in the way... Maybe that's why you shouldn't go that way... Giant rocks aren't fun to move, but luckily for you there's a TNT barrel right beside you. Throw it at the wall, duck and cover, and then you will see...

[HavocReaper48]

...the Secret Entrance to the Secret Kremling Outpost of Secretiveness! Oh, uh, they had a front door. Anyway , move along, time for some Tactical Espionage Action. You will leave footprints as you travel, which guards will notice, in addition they all have limited vision to a moderate sized triangle in front of them. Sneak into the building and look around. K.O. the guards (or just get caught and shoot their ***es as they flock to you) and search the facility. After much searching you find...

[Phyreburnz]

... a note that's very difficult to make out. Start making out with it... Wait... What? After getting your slobbery meats all over the note, it's nearly impossible to read now. Good going. Good think you brought a hair dryer. And it just so happens that there's an outlet behind you. Weird that there would be electricty on an island of pirates that still use wind-powered ships... Plug in your hair dryer and then...

[HavocReaper48]

...Dixie will take it from Diddy as she "needed" it. Oh well, give her some time to use it as you chill out. However, a few minutes later the power dies out everywhere! It's almost pitch black! Figures there would be limited electricity. Luckily you carried a Squawks flashlight. Look for a light switch when you see several torches outside in addition to some voices.

"Who was using the power?! And the guards are all asleep?! What next, are there monkeys inside the hideout?!"

"Sir, didn't you notice the large gaping TNT-made hole in the wall on the way in?"

"I thought the guards were opening the door for us... krud."

Uh oh, they're onto you. Seems you've overstayed your welcome. But you still have not found Donkey Kong! You need to make a decision...

[Phyreburnz]

... you decide to make a cake. Give said cake to the guards. The guards are flattered and they invite you to their house for tea. You can't very well have cake without tea, so you follow. However, this seems like a trap. You decide to...

[HavocReaper48]

...detonate the bomb you put in the Kremling's slices of cake. Ouch. Luckily this game is rated "E" so all of the goriness of what you just did was censored. Now that the guards are... scattered everywhere, ransack their house for any loot or hints. The only notable things you find are a rusty sword, a map of Lost World, and, more tea?! What is it with tea in this cheat? Maybe because Donkey Kong Country had British developers.

Anyway, you take a close look at the map and notice two entrances to Krocodile Kore -- one after beating all the levels and and the other way through the very top of the volcano. Huh, was a hollow top the whole time. Jump in and...

[Phyreburnz]

... get burned pretty badly. See, lava has this quality that... IT'S MOLTEN ROCKS, OKAY! It's NOT a good idea to jump in lava! Now you get to go to the burn ward. Good for you. After 90% of Diddy's fur is burned off, he looks pretty silly. Use this silly appearance to get ANYWHERE on Krocodile Isle. The guards will laugh so hard that you can get right past them. Use this ability to get past Klubba without spending a single Krem Koin. Now that's you're rich with pirate booty, you can...

[HavocReaper48]

...afford the supermega expensive secret quiz in Swanky's Banana Bonanza! This quiz has 3 questions. You must answer them all correctly and show your work. They are;

1) How many Krashes are in Mine Cart Carnage?

2) How many Kritters does it take to screw in a lightbulb in Blackout Basement?

3) Describe the whereabouts of Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong during Donkey Kong Land III?

The answers are...

[Phyreburnz]

..1) lots 2) lots 3) lost... Now you have to come up with some conspiracy theory as to why the answers for all three questions contained the same four letters. This theory will open up new possibilities for all conspiracy theorists. Your theory is that...

[HavocReaper48]

...the government has subjected us to this cheat so they could see just how far we were willing to go in order to rescue a comrade. You might be going a bit crazy. Or you could of been a part of an observation test the whole time. You need to start searching for answers. Start off with Big Ape City's local police station. You go there and ask the man at the front desk....

[Phyreburnz]

... So, is this whole thing a conspiracy? The guy at the desk begins to freak out. He's going insane and starts shouting and throwing things. Back out of the room slowly... well, that failed. Time to ask someone else. Go down to Vine Valley and ask the locals the same thing. Well, that was stupid, because the native inhabitants are vultures. After you get your face pecked off, you decide to go somewhere else. You now want to go ask someone in...

[HavocReaper48]

...KremKroc. When you go up there, you notice the sky is usually clean today -- well, figures since the place was abandoned a while ago when Donkey and Diddy were done with it. Now just a couple of Kritters and several Manky Kong clans reside in the remains. Go to a nearby factory which has been inhabited. The Mankys ask why they should help YOU, who banished them from the Kong Kingdom. You tell them...

[Phyreburnz]

...Because. Well... that's a logical answer. They decide to help you and tell you the huge conspiracy. Rare is really a government agency that sells tea that's laced with some kind of government spying tool. Anyone that's ever had tea before is now sending information to the government. Great... Now you're wondering why a game company would sell tea. You ask the Mankys and they tell you...

[HavocReaper48]

..."Tea is the answer to everything". Seriously? Will it finish the cheat to unlock Donkey Kong? Pour some tea on your Donkey Kong Country 2 cartridge and put back into the SNES. Oh, uh, the tea thing actually worked after all. You get a message from Rare, saying, "You might be onto something here, but we won't let you get to it without a challenge!" The screen will then black out for a few seconds, and then go back to the normal DKC2 title screen. Press start and...

[Phyreburnz]

... You've got to play through every single Donkey Kong game ever made... and that includes the ones released after DKC2... How is this possible?! Is it time for a new conspiracy? Nevertheless, you play through every DK game ever made without dying. If you were to die, you would have had to restart from the very beginning. Now that you've completed it, there's a new game. This new game is a DKC game with Donkey and Dixie as the main characters, but it's still not DKC2 with Donkey as a playable character. You decide to go ahead and explore the new game, however it requires an ultra-super-secret-mega expansion pack. To obtain said expansion pack, you now have to...

[HavocReaper48]

...send in a money order of 1000 banana coins to Rare. Sheesh, so demanding! Run around in the new DKC game and gather up some coins. Or you can just borrow those hundreds of extra coins you got in Donkey Kong Country Returns. However, the coin carrying limit is 999! This could be a problem. How are you to get 1000? To solve this you...

[Phyreburnz]

... Decide to open a bank account. With this, you can add some more monkey moneys to this and have the coins directly deposited after each time you beat a level. Now you go to your bank and mail Rareware all of your hard-earned banana coins. Next they're going to ask for an arm and a leg.... oh crap... To get an arm and a leg, you now have to...

[HavocReaper48]

...sacrifice one of your many DK plush dolls' arm and leg. Oh well, you can get a new one. Mail a doll's arm and leg and wait 4-7 weeks for a response. Then, a barrel jet will deliver a package from Rare. It's one of the treasure chests you found on Crocodile Isle! But they forgot the key. Luckily Dixie's hair pin can break this basic lock. Unlock the package, and inside you will find a game called "Donkey Kong Racing"! That's an unreleased game you got there! Why would they mail it to you though? ....

[Phyreburnz]

... You decided that they mailed it to you because it's very costly to ship it by hot air balloon. And you can just forget about having the British Navy travel all the way to America just to deliver a stupid package! To play the game, you now have to look for another special port in your Snes... but it seems as if you've already used every port available! You now need to write another letter to Rare asking for a port to plug into your Snes. Wait another 4-7 weeks. When it does come, plug it, hook up Donkey Kong Racing and turn on the Snes! You realize that something's wrong... this seems toooooo easy... You just turned on the game and you've just watched the end cut scene and the credits... Where's the game?! Mail Rare again asking them WTF? They will send you a note saying...

[HavocReaper48]

..."Actual game content sold separately." Aw, man. Well, obviously Rare isn't a reliable source nowadays. Time for a more reliable service -- Google! It solves everything! Search for the expansion pack. Eventually you'll find it. It's on sale... in Africa? Wait, more specifically, the CONGO JUNGLE! Whoa. Well, now you're gonna have to book a flight there if you don't already live there. I recommend the plane used in Street Fighter II, that thing's on steroids (China--->USA in seconds). When you arrive in the Jungle...

[Phyreburnz]

... Find the real Donkey Kong and ask him for a copy of his racing game. Being a fairly large gorilla, he decides to pick you up and throw you.... Now you are back home... Wow. DK has a pretty good arm. You need to get back to the Congo Jungle some how... and your street fighter plane is sill there, so now you have to find something else. Call up Funky and he'll pick you up in Barrel Flights. Go back to the Congo Jungle and find DK again. This time, you have to...

[HavocReaper48]

...say, "Please!" That was pretty anti-climatic, Donkey gladly obliges. He points to the top of a rocky waterfall. At the top, a shiny Expansion Pack! Climb up the waterfall using a hidden pathway behind the waterfall. In order to access this hidden, passage, you must use a Hadoken to ripple through the waterfall. At the end of the path you come up to the surface and see the pack perched on a pointy rock above the waterfall. To reach it...

[Phyreburnz]

... You need springy shoes like in Banjo-Tooie. Now go to Banjo-Land-o (or whatever the hell his land is named) and find Kazooie. You need to ask if you can borrow the springy shoes. Being a generally mean, sarcastic bird, Kazooie tells you something that, pretty much, boils down to "no". To get the shoes, you have to...

[HavocReaper48]

...finish the Endless Cheat to get Springy Shoes in Banjo-Tooie. After that is accomplished, you will get the shoes and their springiness. Use them to get the Expansion Pack! Use the pack on Donkey Kong Racing to continue it. Now, you must beat all cups with all characters, getting gold in each one, on the hardest difficulty in order to...

[Phyreburnz]

... get a box of chocolates. Instead of getting just the standard cutscene, Rareware decided to be nice and send you a heart-shaped box of chocolates. Never know what yer gonna' get... This does seem fishy, though. Why would Rare send you chocolate? You decide to open the box carefully, in case it's not chocolate inside. After removing the lid completely...

[HavocReaper48]

...a flashbang goes off and blinds you. Now that you've been blinded (and your hearing's not so sharp either), you can't read the message Rare also put in the box. Well, great. Now you have to wait for it to wear off. Lie down and relax. When you're back to normal, you see the box Rare left behind disappeared, in addition to some mysterious footprints nearby. Follow the footprint trail. After several minutes of following the trail, it leads to...

[teh epicnes]

...my castle. When you enter the castle, you should notice that.....

[Phyreburnz]

... there is a pwnhammer in the corner of the room. Use this to...

[HavocReaper48]

...tear the castle down. However, teh epicnes is greatly pissed because of this. He glows red in anger and charges! Given his speed, you only have seconds to counterattack him by...

[Phyreburnz]

... throwing a banana peel directly in his path! (How original) teh epicnes is even more angry! His ability to shoot fire balls from his eyes isn't going to help you, either. To get yourself out of this dire situation, you now have to...

[HavocReaper48]

...DO A BARREL ROLL. Huh, looks like it worked, you dodged his fireballs and now his eyes are on fire. While epicnes is stopping, dropping, and rolling, you can escape. Get to da choppa and off the island, which explodes as you leave for some reason. Now go to the island setting of Donkey Kong Country Returns. On this island, there is a large volcano, and something mysterious about it. Investigate to find out that it...

[Phyreburnz]

... is a volcano made with baking soda and vinegar... I think you're not in some kid's science project. It appears that retro got lazy and hired a fifth grader to make the set of DKCR... wow... Anyways, the significance of the baking soda/vinegar volcano is that...

[HavocReaper48]

...they'll run out of soda and vinegar eventually. While the kids are out getting new supplies, you sneak into the empty volcano. You fall farther down than you expected, but you can still walk. You notice a small hole in a corner which caused the volcano to drain out quicker than expected. Enter the tunnel-like hole and it turns out to be an actual hidden level. And it's pretty darn difficult. However, if you lose all your lives you will not be able to activate the cheat again. The level involves trans versing a deep maze underground, complete with lava pits and floating hazards. Not to mention, Kremlings?! In DKCR?! Finish the level in one piece, and at the end awaits....

[Phyreburnz]

... a giant mirror! Now you get to do the level backwards! Not only that, the controls are reversed, too! Get through this within a minute and you'll receive...

[HavocReaper48]

...an achievement, "Overworker", and worth 40G. Oh great, now you activated the Achievements feature. Get all the other achievements now and rack up your GamerScore. Once it reaches 9001, you will receive a message from Mircrosoft. This message reads...

[Phyreburnz]

... Rare sucks now, Nintendo can have them back! Although, you have no idea what this has to do with unlocking DK from DKC2... you decide to write a letter to microsoft explaining why you don't care. Six to eight weeks later, microsoft mails you something else. You open the package and receive...

[HavocReaper48]

...a piece of paper with a large code. Several numbers and letters. Enter this code at the Live Marketplace and download the game that goes with the activated code. It's a remake of DKC2 in HD! Wow, looks amazing. This is Rare's attempt to return to it's Nintendo roots. Play through the whole game, which has plenty more features such as more levels and unlockable playable characters. Among these characters is Donkey Kong! However, in order to unlock him, you need to unlock everyone else first. Then, play through the entire game five times using every single character (Diddy, Dixie, the DK64 and DKR cast excluding DK) and then finally...

[Phyreburnz]

... an error message occurs. It looks like the blue screen of death whenever you try to shut down your Windows 98. The error message says that to unlock DK, you first need to have him unlocked in the original DKC2. *snaps fingers* back to the ol' drawing board. You now have to put a copy of Starfox Adventures into your snes while you're playing DKC2. This makes Fox a playable character. Beat the game in less than an hour using only one life to...

[HavocReaper48]

...unlock a secret mode in Starfox Adventures. Put the copy off your SNES and actually put it into the system it belongs in and check out the new secret addition to it. Oh, turns out it's the same game, just with DKC enemies. Play through this edition of SFA and get all the secrets. Now that you've done just that, Cranky Kong will appear and lecture you on how you could spend your time on better things other than trying to save a friend on a "pointless quest." You can't give up now! After sleeping through the lecture...

[Phyreburnz]

... you wake up to see that Cranky has now aligned with the Kremlings because the Kongs never listen to him! You now have to defeat Cranky Kong! This is the toughest boss, yet. His powers include...

[HavocReaper48]

...levitation, a lethal cane, instant reflexes, projectile capabilities. You'll have to bring your A-game to this one... and you're B-game, C-games, every game you have to defeat this guy! Luckily, Diddy Kong removes his cap to reveal -- uh, normal chimp head. However, he gains a ton of speed and agility! Now the best way to defeat Cranky Kong is to use a full power 100% charge Custom Combo air juggle infinite on the V-Ism setting. Or in English, wail on him! You may need to reset a couple of times but when you weaken him Cranky will tell you...

[Phyreburnz]

... That he's been with the Kremlings the ENTIRE time! In fact, he is actually King K. Rool! No way! It seems as if you are now screwed... or that he is lying... Dixie decides to take off her hat. This reveals a helicopter propeller! Now she can actually fly (rather than just float with her head)! Now you're ready to defeat Cranky Kong, but to do this you need to find his weak spot, which is...

[KremKrawl]

His armpit! You have to fly over to his armpit and slice it up with the propeller. This destroys his disguise, revealing "Cranky" to be...

[Phyreburnz]

... A giant fish! Good thing that it's lent and today is friday (in the game) and the Kongs just happen to be catholic! Time for a good ol' fish fry! You need to go visit Funky, because he has building skillz. Ask him to make you a giant-sized grill. While he's building, you need to find a giant bowl of tartar sauce... but where? You go to see...