DKC Atlas Forum

[Phyreburnz]

Well, I guess now's as good a time as any. I'm with the Kremlings.... if you couldn't tell from the K. Rool picture...er... wait... maybe it was with the economy... either way, I'm green, scaly, and evil... just like those damn economists!

Why did I just give up my ultra-super-secret identity?! And to the DKC Atlas users?!

[HavocReaper48]

Simply, you can no longer be trusted. You reveal secrets to easily. You're a virus in our operations, Phyreburnz. Time to take a long walk off a short pier...

Why are you with the Kremlings?! Do you have connections with the tikis?

[Phyreburnz]

I told you, I don't remember if I'm with the Kremlings or the economists, but I'm pretty sure it's that I'm with the economists... Either way, I'd never align with the Tikis, you fool! Kremlings are a proud... people(?)... and would NEVER let themselves be considered allies with the Tikis!.... I think...

Do you really think that I'm actually with the Kremlings?! Do you think that I'm that stupid enough to reveal my TRUE identity?! MWA HAHAHAHAHA!

[HavocReaper48]

Um, it's in your avatar...

Duh?

[Phyreburnz]

Not Duh! It is merely used for distraction purposes! Used but only to confuse my many enemies!

Would it help if I changed my avatar?

[HavocReaper48]

Knock yourself out.

Luckily, my avatar has nothing to do with DKC... wait, do you know who my avatar is of?

[Phyreburnz]

No.

Why do you want me to knock myself out? That's not very nice.

[teh epicnes]

Because you stole his bananas.

Why did I just make an unexpected return to these forums?

[Phyreburnz]

Because you want to be a cool kid like me and HavocReaper.

Aren't we just the coolest?

[HavocReaper48]

Sure are!

Does anyone dare question the coolness of the "Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer" topic?!

[teh epicnes]

That guy over there does---------->^_^

How would a boss fight against Keyboard Cat play in DKCR?

[Phyreburnz]

There would be no possibility of Donkey Kong actually winning that battle. The Keyboard Cat would kick some monkey ass.

Why can't DK win against three keyboard strokes (excluding, of course, the shift button)?

[HavocReaper48]

He wanted to, but, you see, he's not a good typist.

Maybe he should talk to Mario's giant floating head that teaches typing from those YouTube parodies?

[teh epicnes]

No. mario forgot how to type.

I couldn't afford to pay for gas, so I sold my car so I have enough money. Now, I don't have a car to put the gas in. how do I get my car back?

[Phyreburnz]

Prostitution? Oh, wait, you need a car to do that, too.

Would asking a loan shark for help be a good idea?

[Tiptup Jr.]

Prostitution? Oh, wait, you need a car to do that, too.

Not the way I use 'em.

So anyway, I'm posting in this thread because...?

[Phyreburnz]

As previously stated: You want to be cool like me and HavocReaper, and now teh epicness.

Didn't you miss our antics?

[teh epicnes]

Yes.

Why is a gorilla wearing a tie?

[HavocReaper48]

Because the tie grants him his strength, intelligence, everything really. If you remove the sacred tie, D.K. will be powerless.

Why do you think he's always wearing it?

[Phyreburnz]

Suicide gone wrong...

Why would DK want to kill himself?

[HavocReaper48]

What? He would never do that.

So, is Donkey Kong Country Returns 2 gonna feature more references to other DKC games than DKCR did?

[Phyreburnz]

Ha! HAHAHAHAH! No! Retro is going to try to remake everyone knows and loves about Donkey Kong (this is just an assumption, so don't give me crap over it)!

Why must everyone remake everything into something worse and less fun?

[HavocReaper48]

I would ask Retro.

Why did Rare betray us?

[Phyreburnz]

Because Chris and Tim Stamper just wanted to do a "senior prank" type dealie. (Ya know, because right after they moved to Microsoft, they left Rare)

Did you find their "senior prank" funny?

[HavocReaper48]

Meh.They should of joined Retro Studios right after they left, who at the time was doing Metroid, but unknown to them, would later make DKCR.

Now, isn't that much better?

[Phyreburnz]

It's better, yes. And perhaps if Chris and Tim joined Retro, DKCR would have had Kremlings.

What would you think if Chris and Tim secretly joined Retro and made DKCR2 even better than DKCR?

[teh epicnes]

I would think "This is more epic than the pwnhammer!"

Why did I make up the pwnhammer?

[Phyreburnz]

Because you're just that... um... special :D

What exactly do you use a pwnhammer for?

[HavocReaper48]

Getting to play as Donkey Kong in Donkey Kong Country 2.

What is the pwnhammer made of?

[teh epicnes]

It's made of bananas that I stole from DK Island.

What would happen if two pwnhammers collided?

[HavocReaper48]

Impossible. There can only be one.

Don't you know what happens when a second pwnhammer enters the universe?

[Phyreburnz]

The end of the universe, of course!

Why does the universe end when a second pwnhammer enters the universe?

[teh epicnes]

Because the universe can't take the awesomeness.

What would happen if the pwnhammer broke?

[HavocReaper48]

Nothing, really, aside from the lower amount of pwnage.

Could it be fixed?

[Phyreburnz]

Only with gorilla glue.

Or would duct tape work better?

[HavocReaper48]

Nope, but DUCK TAPE would.

You do know to name tapes, glues and such after animals right?

[Phyreburnz]

What about scotch tape... or packing tape... or masking tape... or elmer's glue... or wood glue... or any glue/tape other than that with the name "gorilla" in front of it?

Does the name of two brands of tape/glue really dictate all of the rules for said products?

[HavocReaper48]

Sure does.

Has anyone unlocked Donkey Kong in DKC2 yet?

[Phyreburnz]

Like a million times!

Why, haven't you?

[HavocReaper48]

Sadly I have not, you see I'm still in the very process of unlocking him.

Hey, if you're such an expert on getting DK in DKC2 why don't you help some more on the forum for the cheat?

[Phyreburnz]

Because the last think you said didn't make much sense to me.... It's been a while since I've unlocked him and I have forgotten some steps...

Perhaps I have misunderstood your last step?

[HavocReaper48]

Maybe.

Has anyone unlocked Dixie Kong in the original Donkey Kong Country?

[Phyreburnz]

I dunno.

Maybe we should start a cheat thread for that?

[HavocReaper48]

That would be a little redundant even if it was about a different character in a different game - same concept.

Perhaps we need someone else's opinion?

[Phyreburnz]

No, we're too cool(?) for an outside opinion!... or something like that....

Now I start with a totally new question:

What was King K. Rool doing when Retro was making DKCR?

[HavocReaper48]

Chilling out on the actual Donkey Kong Island. With all the Kremlings and other animals that did not make it.

Are they playing DKCR there?

[Phyreburnz]

No! Of course not! They were too mad that they did not make it in the game!

Or... do you think that King K. Rool was just making DK die over and over again...

[HavocReaper48]

Possibly.

Where did they get their Wii?

[Phyreburnz]

The same place they got their computer of course!

Do you think that, due to K. Rool's outrage of not being in said game, that he will later ally himself with DK to defeat the tiki menice?

[HavocReaper48]

I think they should.

Perhaps in the sequel?